let's get something straight before i start. i love christmas. seriously, i start listening to christmas music in july, am ready to put up my tree in october, enjoy every minute of crowd fighting/shopping, have my cards addressed and in the mail by dec 8th. i purposely wait until after matthew's birthday, so as to give some priority to the occasion.
not this year. it really snuck up on me. and i wasn't ready for it. i just put up the tree on wednesday, still don't have all the decorations on it. put three whole strands of lights outside, and the two wreaths are up. i am starting to address my cards today, and have vetoed putting up the christmas village this year.
no cookies have been baked, though that is partially so i don't have to hear them calling me to them and the milk. and only about a quarter of my shopping has been completed.
i'm not really sad, just not as excited as i usually am by this point. yet.
you see, this year, i was expecting to decorate a new house. not happening. waiting until may for the new house. i think subconsciously i didn't want to decorate our same house again. i know, i need to be grateful that i have a house. i am. i'm just mourning the idea of my idealized christmases that i have been waiting to have room to create. next year.
again, not sad, just not excited.
i should get back to said cards. they won't address themselves. i'm sure my usual christmas spirit will kick in eventually.
maybe the cookies? a little sugar to liven me up? fake it til you make it? no, it will come. it will.
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